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Controlling yourself vs controlling the room

It is harder to control yourself than to "control the room" in a traditional sense. It is easy to externalize your power and force expectations on others.

Try sitting with yourself. Try getting your own weak areas under control. Before you do that, you have no authority trying to control the room anyway.

By control yourself, I don't mean repression and further seperation from that which is your true nature. I mean, get out of your own way. Listen to what people are saying without immediate judgement. Take risks on worthy causes. Know that the fulfillment that comes with self control is much more gratifying than the dopamine hit that comes with feeling superior to another person.

You have to be an individual, a strong one. You can’t waver when it comes to choosing a side. You can’t be here and there. The most flavorful humans are really good at taking sides and flowing with them. You don’t want to doubt yourself and self-doubt comes from being split between two sides, the outside and the inside. Choose the one that will hold up until the end, the inside of course.

Even if you fail miserably, do so with the right intention. If your intention is to learn and heal; people will see you as a massive inspiration.


  1. Ignore what people say under their breath. It almost never matters and really just reflects their momentary attitude and not any sort of truth about you.

  2. Just because you’re not exercising your freedom and consuming a lot of substances, information and people does not mean you are not free. This simply means that you have observed the fact that you have a wide variety of options and choices to make, and you have chosen to choose the best one.

  3. Good people, when they find something beautiful, want to protect it and honor it. Bad people when they find something beautiful want to control it and destroy it. The way to manage things that are aesthetic and beautiful is to see them outside of yourself. The way to honor them is to see these objects and people as holistic systems that do not need you to exist. Honor beautiful things outside of yourself while still honoring the good qualities about yourself.

Controlling the room does not mean controlling people’s minds. Controlling the room in an ethical sense (more like managing) means letting people be in their own energy and figuring out a way to weave everybody’s energies together.

It takes practice and observation. It takes listening to people’s needs. The solution is to connect everybody’s needs into one solution. A good leader knows this.

Nobody will feel left out. Nobody will feel unheard. Because you have already listened and understood the needs of the room collectively.


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