A thought always leads to an emotion.
You don’t have to go there.
Changing your beliefs is about not letting yourself go there.
It might be a poverty mindset, nobody likes me, or a genuine response to a boundary violation.
I don’t let myself go there anymore.
Your emotion may be justified by how somebody treats you, but that does not mean you cannot shift that experience.
I learned to have a grasp on the separation between inner and outer reality.
A strong inner reality consists of a respect for your deeper aspects of self and emotional backbone regardless of the external.
Outer reality can be harsh or outright abusive. And you cannot believe the actions of others to be the truth of who you are.
I am a firm believer in shifting environments when you feel violated. At my core, I know I deserve better. I know I can do things on my own.
In love and romance, things are a lot more subtle and painful. Still, you need to remember that it’s not because of how you look or who you are.
And even if it is - you deserve to be treated better.
As much as I want to say I am worthless and compare myself to others; I need to remember that other people’s worlds do not revolve around me.
If I matter enough to them…then they will be considerate of how I feel. But, there should be no expectation.
I try to respect people as much as I can. Sometimes, people are unconscious and simply living in their own world. It’s not a personal attack. We perceive it that way, because our security has been threatened in some way.
Still, you don’t need to go there.
Just cut yourself off.
I’m not feeding those demons. Shame, guilt, doubt, or worry.
For what, so they can grow bigger?
They’re just there. They’re always there.
Another key is to really choose your friends and who you date very carefully.
You don’t want to validate your demons with how you’re letting yourself be treated either.
LS
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